When I read the news today that Jennifer Aniston is posing nude on the cover of GQ magazine I couldn’t help but think this blog is just a bit overdue for an update. The news isn’t saying, but Jennifer and I share a birthday and birth year, meaning …. JA turns 40 in February 09 too! After thinking more, I nodded my head in understanding then thought, you go Jenn, you are more beautiful than most 20 year olds, I’d do it too, if asked. It’s funny, when I decided to blog about turning 40, or rather how I want to spend my the final year of my 30’s, I searched and found 2 other similar ‘turning 40’ blogs. Both were abandoned only a month after the first post. It’s easy to just fade into the background as we get older, often preferable. But I was recently jolted awake when realized only two months to go to the big 4 0 and this blog is not capturing all I intended it to. So here we go.

Starting with my list of goals I’m happy to report have met a few! The biggie being I bought a house. I love my house, even if the value plummeted 40k two months after I bought due to the economy! I paid off my credit cards!! Then managed to charge a few up again! I’ve not quit sweet coffee and no intentions too, let’s just scratch it off the list. I’m continually trying to update my wardrobe, hence, the charged up credit cards. I still don’t brown bag, or walk on treadmill as often as I should, or fit into size 10 jeans. I did start reading the Bible and a wonderful book ‘Purpose Driven Life”. I don’t enjoy waxing eloquent on my beliefs or bore others with them but let’s just say I find it calming to read the Bible and other books that explore Christianity.

I read Olivia’s fabulous blog, my twenty-something crew friend, and Rebecca’s, my thirty-something crew friend, often and they inspire me to get moving. So that is the goal I’ll be focusing on the next two months and after. While I’ll never run a marathon, or even run for that matter, I can walk, I can stretch, I can increase strength and endurance even if minimally (thank you NF2!) so that’s what I’m going to do. Right after this Vanilla Latte.

In Nancy Alexander's Defense

She sent this reply today,

"Cindy, my remarks were edited. this is why I'm almost always regret when i do interviews. i'm sorry you were hurt. nancy"

Fair enough.

A few Thoughts

Why are these almost 40 blogs so hard to get into? Ive found 3 similar blogs, dated 2003 and before, that had 2 posts them then nothing. Makes me wonder if turning 40 really is stepping into a deep dark abyss. Maybe like the movie ' Logan's Run' where they killed everyone on their 40th birthday. Well that won't happen here, I shall motivate self to post my thoughts on turning 40 just the same as I motivate self to exercise.

Thoughts are scattered all over today. I woke late and left for work with wet hair, no water or coffee or breakfast, kitchen piled high with dirty dishes, towels in dryer, laundry piled high, pretty sure left AC on, then lost my car keys. But still got a loving send off from my guy who was in a resilient mode this morn thank God, unscathed from my flitting around like an insane person. Wish could say my lateness was a result of a night of passion but truth is I was just so peacefully asleep I couldn't get out of bed at 6:15 am.

Arrive to work late wondering why I want to be here at all. I think 'they' are trying to get me to go on disability. Something I'd welcome in 6 years after I get 20 in. Thats another topic. Had lunch at panera with my SKIRT magazine. When got back to desk ripped off an email to Nancy Alexander of Mix 100.7. Here's what I sent --

nancy@tampabaysmix.com

date
Apr 7, 2008 2:00 PM

subject
your SKIRT magazine quote

I am 39 and listened to you eons ago when you were "nancy in the sky" on Q105, then over the years always admired your career moves and thought you were one cool lady. But then today on my hour lunch as I sat at Panera reading SKIRT TAMPA BAY I was almost personally hurt by your words , "its a groovy thing to have people come up to you and tell you you're doing good job. someone who works in a bank doesnt get that". How do you know?! It's one thing to be proud and happy with your existence and tell the world how great you have it, but no need to put others down while doing it assuming they couldnt possibly be as equally happy or appreciated in their careers as you. I can't believe you said that for print! Not everyone has such a great career as you! And dont bother with an on air apology, Ive been deaf since age 23 and don't listen to the radio. But I do read most every publication Tampa Bay has to offer. Have a great day.

Sheesh. Is PMS getting me already? Really though, her quote had gall. Anyway, Ive also been reading a lot on this trail journal site. Can you believe some people (all ages it seems) take month long, year long hikes?! I'm gobbbling up these journals online from people hiking the Appalachian and American Discovery Trails. I'm following Jodi's hike daily as she is fundraising for NF along the way. I'm dying with jealosy. If not for these disabilities am cursed with the idea of hiking acoss America for 6 to 9 month is very appealing! Why why why Me!!!!!!!!! :)) that felt good. Wouldn't it be ironic if my work forced me to go on disability due to my shaky walking and then I took off for a year (or 2 lol) and walked from FL to California? Not in the plans but an amusing thought.

ok, how am I doing on the goals I set? Well still love sweet coffee and not even sure if realistically could give it up, Im 'cutting back' for now, and not drinking on empty stomach. I walked on treadmill once last week! I'll aim for twice this week ;) But, went to Bally 3 times last week and my legs do feel stronger. I signed off my half of the house Friday so am now a 'renter' and one step closer to being a real homeowner. I'll have 39k in savings after pay off my credit card debt this week . So my short term goal is to not dip into that AT ALL as it's for a down payment on a future house with Bill. Right at the moment my biggest dilemma is what to do with the EXTRA cinnamon roll Panera gave me at lunch ;)

Sugar!

This is not the first post I envisioned for this blog. You'd think going 1 stinking day without sugar wouldn't be so dfficult. Yet here I sit at noon devising where and when will make my coffee fix. Note a book titled 'adrenal fatigue' sitting right here on desk! I already screwed myself today anyway. Ate 2 blueberry poptarts. At least had tea (no sugar). But see now I want coffee!! Seems partly out of boredom. State jobs will do that to you. ok, so here goes -- FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS I WILL NOT CONSUME ANY OBVIOUS REFINED SUGAR OR SWEET FOODS! THIS INCLUDES MY BELOVED RAPADRA! Damn it. I'm going home to lunch now mainly to refix my hair, but to also warm up lunch - Thai noodles , chicken, vezggies. Will hope the coffee dezmon stays away. BTW, its Thursday March 27th, the date of post is wrong.